Sunday, May 4, 2014

9/15/11 Just WAIT a Minute!

GEEZ.  Can we all just stop a sec?  Take a breath, get our bearings, press “Pause” until we’re ready to keep going?  
What the hell is going on with the trees?  They’re beginning to turn already - spots of yellow, even some red here and there.  Smatterings of brown leaves dotting the ground.   I mean, summer just started for Brad and I the beginning of August!  It was Emily 24/7 in June, mourning and stress with the other potential adoption all of July, so we only lifted our heads to consciously welcome the weather and my summer vacation (and be able to let it soak in all that happened with Emily) in August.   But already the weather is turning, and more importantly, this lush canopy of green getting ready to leave us.  I love fall as much as the next true Midwesterner (or New Englander), but I gotta say I’m NOT ready yet.  
It’s almost a panicky feeling, so completely out of your control.  You can need a time-out as much as you want but nobody’s gonna listen or pay you a lick of heed.   Very, very much the same as the day we got the phone call about Emily.  I still think that if everyone (aka Kristin’s mother) had just taken a couple of days to breathe, maybe process a few things, gather all the information, breathe, maybe it wouldn’t have turned out differently but maybe it wouldn’t have been like stepping on a landmine, either.  
It works the same for good things, too, doesn’t it?  How many parents have wanted to freeze their child at X stage until they were ready to move on to the next?  (Now, ideally, having a rewind button with the option to go back to ‘Live’ would be great too.   If only life came with a Comcast remote and DVR system.)   You guys get the drift.  
*sigh*  I just... want the trees to wait a minute. 

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