Seventeen months....time continues to be so surreal. How can it have been seventeen months? How can we not have her back yet, with all those minutes magically filled in behind us, restoring what has been lost all this time?
Without planning it as such, we planted Anna’s tree next to her bench this morning with the help of some of Brad’s old friends. It went smoothly and looks great (we think). Some hitched breathing a few times as they were putting it in, no tears until I was alone for a few minutes with the weight of how much I love and hate this at the same time.
The event was marred a bit by a woman who has lived here for years and very upset that we put a bench on “these sacred hills”. “It’s not a cemetery, there’s always trash where there’s a bench, etc etc.” She is apparently upset by all the memorial benches going in around the park altogether, but this one really set her off. She actually asked us to take it out, “but you won’t, will you?” Not if we don’t have to. Sorry lady. These hills are sacred to us too, now more than ever. I appreciate her point, I really do, but as Brad said, if it wasn’t us, it would be someone else at some point. (He was really p.o.’d, and it takes alot for him to get angry.) I’m glad he was there to offer the other side to me after she left, as it was hurtful and disconcerting. We’d hoped the placement of the bench would offer a meaningful place to take in a beautiful spot, to enjoy it more, not less. I guess we just have to hope that more people will see it our way, and not hers.
We love you, we miss you sweet girl. Every minute of seventeen months and counting...