Sunday, May 11, 2014

5/1/12 Evelynn

Today I learned that another baby loss mom lost her second child at 36 weeks.  
Again.  It happened again.  
This news sent me reeling, as it has for every other BLM I know per their blogs.  Horror, shock, the all too familiar first-hand knowledge of what this couple is feeling now.  And selfishly, renewed powerful fear that this could be us, too.  Again.  
I went to this woman’s blog, read her second to last entry detailing her latest visit to the perinatologist, her anticipation at meeting her child in just 7 days at the scheduled 37 week C-section.  All the details I and other moms are getting at their appointments.  The next (and latest) post simply says how much they love their baby girl, how much her two days on earth touched their lives, and included a picture of this sincerely beautiful plump little baby with shocks of dark hair and rosy red lips.   Looking perfectly gorgeous except you know she’s not breathing...that this family will have to bury that sweet body.   Again.
Everyone says it won’t happen again, statistically speaking it’s highly unlikely, that this is a different baby, a different time.  Yeah.  But see?  It CAN happen again.  It DOES happen again.  Statistics be damned - when you’re the one that falls into ‘highly unlikely’, statistics only serve to hurt you further.  
So today, and probably tomorrow and the next day and the next, my heart and mind is with this devastated family.  May they survive intact, somehow.  May Brad and I and the other pregnant BLMs I’ve met online be spared this agony, please god, please.
And if you have a moment, take one to gather this family in your spiritual arms and hold them close.  Honor their little Evelynn.

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